Hard Wood Elves

Hard Wood Elves in BoneCraft

Known throughout the galaxy for their skills with hard wood, the Hard Wood Elves are masters of their craft.

“Imbibe me with your staff.”

The Headmaster

The Headmaster in BoneCraft

High Professor of Sexual Studies, the Headmaster is believed to be the foremost instructor of head in all the land. He is the on-site tutor for all the Queen’s ho’s.

“I am so not gay! I love women! I’m as straight as a huge uncut log in the Black Wirey forest of Musky land. How dare you! I fucking love chicks, if they’re dressed right.”

“I’m like morning wood Wrangler, there’s only one way to get rid of me.”

The Very Merry Men

The Very Merry Elves from BoneCraft

From Not So Surewood Forest, the Very Merry Men have linked up with Twink on his quest.

“I hope you’re an organ donor because I’m looking for one in particular.”


Twink from BoneCraft

Having left his home to save the Princess–and then bone the fuck out of her–Twink is in search of the Three Triangles to aid in this quest.

“What’s the matter princess, can’t make your sword shoot?”